A Time Capsule of Time

A lot can happen in one year.

I feel like I used to know my family a lot more-the family on my dad's side, that is. Not that I was really old enough to remember it, but considering I lived only two hours away, I was there at my grandparents' house quite a bit. My dad and his two sisters brought their families to the house, conveniently close to the beach, and we would hunt for Easter eggs, ride the carousel, go swimming, play games, and, of course, watch the Sound of Music. They still do that all the time, with each other, but since my family moved away when I was six, I only get to see them there once a year. And every year, it's kind of a shock to see how everyone has stayed the same, but is different in so many ways.

When I was about ten, I made a profile of the cousins on my dad's side of the family. Believe it or not, we're pretty easy to classify into simple roles based on our interests. My eldest cousin, who's in his early twenties now, was always the "older" one, who loves politics and debating. His younger sister, one of my favorite people in the world, was/is everything-the soccer player, the babysitter, and, most recently, the Tufts student. Then there are the kids of my dad's younger sister, my senior-in-high-school cousin, who used to have tufts of yellow hair that later wound itself into tight curls, the logical actress. Her sister, who's about six months younger than me, always stood out as the louder and athletic one, with her main sport being swimming. My younger brother is the cute little one, who everyone still thinks is eight, even though he's actually eleven and a half. I've never been sure of where I fit in-the musical one? The writing one? The long-haired one, even though I haven't always had long hair? Anyway, the point is that we cousins have always been able to pick up from where we left off. Most of the time.

There are so many what ifs in a year's time, though. What if my oldest cousin has suddenly switched political sides? It's so unlikely, but I suppose it's possible. What my swimmer cousin has suddenly taken a twist and converted into an old-fashioned anglophile, ditching One Direction and hosting tea parties instead of lemonade stands? What if my grandparents added on a whole new porch to their house and conveniently forgot to tell us?

It's kind of like a time capsule, you see. You lock something away in a box, and no matter the temptations to unlock it again, you have to wait out the time you promised yourself to open it again, reawakening memories and reminding you of what you had forgotten. Only this time the box has another door that you can't open, that someone else has access to, and this person is changing around little things when you're watching, so you're surprised when the time comes to open it again.

Unfinished

Don't you hate it when you're writing something that seems really good and interesting at first, and then you lose focus and stop writing? Those characters are just sitting there, waiting for you to come back and finish the story, but they may just be hanging on forever, unfinished. I've left way too many characters like that over the years.







Maybe I'll go write a story about those characters that get left behind.

Doctor WHO?

So! Our beloved Matt Smith (whose full name is Matthew Robert Smith, which gives him the most generic British person name this year) is actually going to leave Doctor Who, the show for which he has provided laughter, tears, and suspense (but mostly laughter) for the past three seasons. As the 10th Doctor went up into flames at the end of the fourth season, we met the strange but hilarious 11th Doctor, who crashed into the house of a little girl named Amelia Pond, whose life would forever be affected by him. Next, he ran into a girl with the name Clara Oswin Oswald, not only once, but several times, who would become one of the biggest mysteries yet. Now that his song is ending as well, Doctor Who fans from all over are holding their breath to see just how spectacular his regeneration will be. So the next question of the universe is, who will emerge from the flames this time?

For some reason, the world is freaking out about this question. It has to be a woman! She has to be black! She has to be in a wheelchair! Why don't we just bring in Johnny Depp while we're at it and make the show American after all! Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with all of that, but why now? There have been eleven Doctors in the past fifty years, and only now the media cares about so-called justice? Just to show what kind of candidates the world is thinking up, they include Jenna Coleman (I don't even think that's possible), Emma Watson, Michelle Dockery, and Susan Boyle, which just leads me to think that we care so much about equality that we will throw out some of the most famous and random names to entice the audiences. That led me to write this, about a month ago:

There was an article that I saw a little while ago about how it looked like Moffat wasn't going to cast a female or black Doctor, and how that was horrible and degrading, and how the BBC is being racist. I hate how we live in a society now where if you don't try at all to treat one race better-and end up being racist yourself-then you are considered a horrible person. Maybe a woman or a black person just wouldn't fit the role, but it's nothing against the gender or race itself. Personally, I think that the BBC, or just people in general, are trying way too hard to be fair that it's not an interesting theme anymore, and just caters to the wants of of fairness-seekers. Sure, the Doctor COULD be a female, but it doesn't mean that he has to. It's such an old show, and I feel like changing it now would just kind of ruin everything a little bit, not because of the gender (and I really don't care about race, mostly about gender), but because of the desperate plea of trying to satisfy people who are so obsessed with making things fair that they end up being totally unfair in the end.

There's a 50-50 chance of what gender a human will be. It's not the end of the world that this particular show happens to feature one of them.

Being Better

I'm in the process of trying to become a better person.

I've always thought that I was okay, that I could be annoying at times and not very nice to my family, but that I mostly was a nice person who wasn't in the the way too much. All of a sudden though, after reflecting on what I've done in the past few years, I've realized that I say things sometimes that are just plain weird, could be taken the wrong way, or could have me pinpointed as selfish or obnoxious. Maybe I am. I definitely have been at some times. All of a sudden, though, I don't want to hurt my friends, and have them be mad at me. It could be a desperate plea to get people to stay on my side, to not be left behind. I just don't want to be mean.

How do you become a better person? I've learned this summer, through health studying, that you need to be assertive if you want to get what you need/want, but not too aggressive about it. I took a quiz in the book and found that I'm about fifteen points below the minimum amount of points needed to be perfectly assertive, which means that I can be way too passive at times. I know that this is true, because, even though I'm speaking out in my head, I'm too quiet to actually say anything in real life. There's a fine line between being a too nice and being assertive enough that it's good for yourself, so I can't just tell people what they want to hear.

Another thing that my health book says is that the people who are the most attractive to society are the ones who have high self-esteem. This got me thinking. It makes sense; if someone values him or  herself, then other people will hold that person and high regard and look up to him or her. However, if the person is conceited, or has a false opinion of him or herself, then other people won't be as interested in talking to that person and forging strong friendships. On Maslow's hierarchy of needs, the top level is self-actualization, which is a stage of enlightenment that about 1 to 2% of humans actually reach. It's the highest level of self-esteem, and a person there would be the wisest and ideal person to admire. But if nobody actually gets there, then what is the level of self-esteem that makes other people like us, and enjoy our company? If you're looking for friendship, then you definitely need to respect that person-but you also have to respect yourself. Basically, be at peace with life.

I'm a procrastinator. Most of the time, depending on what it is, I don't do things right away. I put them off and put them off, and then it's horrible when I'm scrambling to do them at the last minute. I understand the principle of doing something now and having fun later, I just can't always follow through, and then there's that nagging in the back of my mind the entire time that I'm putting it off. I borrow time from the future, even when I'm not sure of how the future will end up turning out (like investing in a shaky stock), and I can actually feel my opinion of myself degrading as I do it. For example, I obviously haven't written on this blog for about sixteen days straight, not counting yesterday. During those sixteen days, I made excuses to myself, tried to push away the nagging, and ended up with a giant responsibility, to myself, piling up. I mean, I don't even know who reads this blog or even follows how often I post, but the point is that I let myself down. If I can stop doing that, then I can concentrate on not letting other people down.

From now on, I will try to think about what I say before I say it. Maybe I just worry too much about what other people think of me, but I don't want to be that person who causes others to groan when I enter the room or group. I don't want to feel like I have to make up things about myself, or compare myself all the time, just so I can have approval, because, as I learned from my health book (apparently my source of information for the summer), that's a quality that somebody with low self-esteem/emotional problems possesses. I don't think I need to go volunteer at the animal shelter to become a better person that way, but I can consider the impact that I have on the world and the people that I value.

YOLO

I first came across the term "YOLO" sometime last year, probably in the same conversation with my cousins in which they explained "planking" and "owling" to me, and to be honest, my first thought was that it was such a dumb thing to say. You only live once? True, but what kind of person would say that? Someone just trying to be cool, someone about to do something dangerous and potentially fatal, or someone who is about to have an amazing life experience? I didn't even figure out that it was an acronym until months later; I thought it was just a saying, and yolo sounded good enough and easy to say. Now, however, it isn't just a witty thing you say when you're about to parachute out of an airplane. Twitter and Facebook and whatever are so littered with the term that it's lost its meaning, and seems to be just an excuse to do something dumb, like "no offense". But what these adrenaline seekers/adventure seekers, whoever they are, don't realize is that you also only die once.

You only live once. Okay, true, I guess, depending on your religion. I can see how that phrase could have come up-make the most out of life, don't let opportunities slide by, and have fun. And then there's the whole negative and cautionary side of that-don't waste your life with one dumb decision. So what is that twenty-something year old thinking when he jumps off a bridge just for the fun? Is he trying to prove that you only live once? Because I'm pretty positive that he won't be alive once he hits the ground.

This is the kind of thing that came up when I Googled "you only live once"

Okay, nice. A good understanding of the cliche meaning, nothing too annoying. But this is what I got when I Googled just plain "YOLO"

Look at that! Even babies understand YOLO! How horrific!

"YOLO" isn't just a simple term anymore, it's an epidemic that probably claims more lives than it saves despite its subtle and sneaky warning. Hopefully, people will realize that if you really want to hold true to only living once, you won't swim straight into a riptide, jump out of a tree (or anything, really), or not wear your seat belt in the car. Hopefully, my faith in humanity can be restored.

I really couldn't resist...