Gone in a Flash

And as if by some miracle, eighth grade was over.

It's not like I didn't see it coming. I saw it when I was a sixth grader, and watched the eighth graders saying good-bye to each other on the stage, when we gave them the traditional gifts to send them off. I saw it last year when my friends who were graduating left the school for the last time, and I felt like school would have no meaning anymore. It's not like it's high school graduation, and we still have a long way to go, as our principal noted at the promotion ceremony last night. But after spending the past few years in such a tight-knit school, with teachers who were best friends and the most distant classroom being just down the hall, it was hard to just leave.

It's kind of surreal to be treated just like the other kids you've watched for the past two years who graduated before you. I never knew what was running through their heads, and today I found that it was kind of nerve-wracking. I kept on having little anxiety attacks just because I was leaving, and had to go outside to calm down for a few minutes before we started the gifts ceremony. Once we did start, though, I realized what a great school I've gone to these past few years. We had the peer-nominated Apogee awards last night, and everyone in the school was nominated at least once, which is really great. I won for the best role model and something for being mathematically gifted (ironically enough), and so many kids were recognized for doing something, even the ones that most people wouldn't think would win anything. It was so weird to have the teachers saying good-bye to me, to have them giving us little notes and doughnuts just because we were leaving, and to sign yearbooks in middle school for the last time.

I'm happy that I'm moving on, but terrified at the same time. Just as I was getting used to being an eighth grader and at the top of the school, I was put back down at the bottom (even though now my grade has a name!). A lot of kids going into middle school worrying about getting lost and not knowign anyone, but after being in such a small school, I've never had to worry about that. High school will be the middle school I never had, only a lot more intense and important. At the promotion ceremony last night, I had the most fun that I'd ever had a middle school dance/social, and now I don't get to enjoy them again; instead, I've been plunged into an atmosphere of dirty dancing and claustrophobia that makes me want to never attend a high school dance, ever. But now I have so many doors opened for me, so many opportunities that I've never had before. I can enter music competitions, participate in TAG events, take challenging classes, and be treated more like an adult than ever before. As my teacher said today, "don't forget us up on the hill". (The middle school is on the hill above the high school). I think it would be impossible to forget, since it's right there, but now I can visit as an individual on my own time, without being restricted to lines and signed notes.

My friend wrote in my yearbook, "4 more years and we're free!". She can think that, but I'm going to enjoy every year as it comes. If it goes as fast as middle school, then I'll take my time. I don't want to miss anything.

And it's gonna be...fantastic.